How to Spot Sleep Apnea in a Loved One

How to Spot Sleep Apnea in a Loved One

October 8, 2025 | |
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Key Takeaways

  • Sleep apnea symptoms include loud snoring, breathing pauses, and excessive daytime fatigue.
  • Nighttime signs like gasping and restless sleep often accompany daytime mood changes and concentration problems.
  • Early recognition and professional diagnosis can lead to effective treatment with CPAP therapy.

Does your partner's loud snoring keep you awake at night? Do you notice them gasping for air or tossing and turning restlessly? While these behaviors may seem like regular disturbances to their sleep, they might actually be warning signs of a serious condition called sleep apnea.

Sleep apnea affects millions of people worldwide,¹ yet many cases go undiagnosed because the most obvious symptoms happen while the person is sleeping or trying to sleep. As a caring partner, family member, or friend, you're in a unique position to recognize the signs and help your loved one get the treatment they need. Understanding what to look for could literally be a lifesaver. Untreated sleep apnea² increases the risk of heart disease, stroke, and other serious health complications.

What is Sleep Apnea?

Sleep apnea is a sleep disorder characterized by repeated interruptions in breathing while sleeping. These breathing pauses can last from just a few seconds to over a minute. It can happen dozens or even hundreds of times each night. When a person’s breathing stops, oxygen levels in the brain drop. This causes the brain to briefly wake the person, allowing them to start breathing again. This cycle of disrupted sleep prevents the type of deep, restorative rest the body needs to function properly.

Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA) is the most common type of sleep apnea.³ It occurs when the muscles in the throat relax too much during sleep. This can block or narrow the airway. The condition can affect people of all ages, but it is more common in men, older adults, and people who are overweight.

what to watch for in a loved one with sleep apneawhat to watch for in a loved one with sleep apnea

What to Watch for During Sleep 

Most symptoms of sleep apnea happen while a person is sleeping. This makes it important for a bed partner or family member to be able to notice the signs so they can get treatment.

Loud, Chronic Snoring

Not everyone who snores has sleep apnea. But one of the most common warning signs is loud, persistent snoring. This isn’t just light snoring that comes and goes. It’s a deep, rumbling snoring that sounds like it’s going to rattle the whole house. The snoring usually gets louder and more irregular. This is followed by choking or gasping sounds as the person wakes, struggling to catch their breath. 

Pauses in Breathing During Sleep

It can be scary to see your loved one stop breathing during sleep. Pauses can last 10 seconds or longer, and they may then make a loud gasp or snort as they start breathing again. You may notice that their stomach and chest completely stop moving during these episodes. In between are frightening silence before they start breathing normally again.

Gasping/Choking at Night

When the airway is blocked, you may notice your loved one waking up gasping, choking, or saying they feel like they are suffocating. These episodes are scary for them and for you! They may sit up quickly, look like they are confused or panicked. Then, they may take several deep breaths before they go back to sleep.

Restless Sleeping

People who have sleep apnea don’t usually get peaceful, restful sleep. You may notice that they toss and turn, change positions frequently, or move their arms and legs all night. This restlessness happens because the body is fighting to maintain proper breathing. This prevents them from entering deep sleep cycles necessary for genuine rest.

What to Watch for During the Day

The symptoms of sleep apnea can extend into the daytime hours. They can impact every aspect of daily life. There are some symptoms that are easier to recognize during the daytime, waking hours.

Excessive Daytime Sleepiness

One of the most noticeable daytime symptoms is the overwhelming fatigue that persists even though a person spent plenty of time in bed.⁴ Your loved one may fall asleep in the middle of a conversation, while watching television, reading, or even during more important events like a work meeting. They may need to take a lot of naps or struggle to stay alert during routine daily tasks. Fatigue is often overlooked because it is dismissed as being stressed or busy.

Mood Changes

When someone suffers from chronic sleep deprivation, which is the result of untreated sleep apnea, it can affect their emotional wellbeing. You may notice that they are more irritable, have mood swings, or show signs of depression or anxiety that are out of character for them. These types of personality changes can put a strain on your relationship and can often be attributed to other life stressors.

Difficulty Concentrating

Poor sleep quality makes it hard to focus, remember information, or make decisions effectively. You may notice your loved one struggling with tasks that used to be easy for them. They may seem “foggy,” or forget important dates, appointments, or conversations. They may complain about feeling less productive at work, or they may take longer to finish normal daily tasks.

What to Do if You Suspect a Partner Has Sleep Apnea

Recognizing potential sleep apnea symptoms is just the first step. Taking action to address the problem is important and can improve your loved one’s health and wellbeing. Here are some things you can do for them if you suspect they have sleep apnea.

Encourage a Doctor's Visit

Approach the subject carefully and with sympathy. Try to choose a quiet moment when you shouldn’t be interrupted. Express your concerns honestly, using “I” statements. You may tell them something like, “I notice you stop breathing sometimes while you are asleep, and I’m worried about you.” Emphasize that you are concerned about their health and want to help them feel better and have more energy.

It's normal to meet some resistance. Most people aren’t aware of their nighttime symptoms, or they may be embarrassed about their loud snoring. Offer to go with them to the doctor’s visit to provide support. You may want to keep a sleep diary to record the symptoms, which can then be shared with their healthcare provider.

Learn About and Discuss Treatment Options

If your loved one better understands treatment options better, they may be more willing to seek medical help. The most effective prescribed treatment for sleep apnea is CPAP therapy. 

Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) therapy involves wearing a mask connected to a special machine that provides steady, pressurized air to help keep the airway open during sleep. Most people experience dramatic improvements in sleep quality and daytime energy levels in just a few nights once they start CPAP therapy.

You may not even know where to start looking for CPAP therapy equipment. The CPAP Shop has a wide selection of CPAP machines, masks, and accessories. Our knowledgeable staff can assist you in selecting the best CPAP equipment for your loved one. 

Conclusion

Untreated sleep apnea doesn’t just affect sleep quality. It impacts a person’s overall health, their relationships, and quality of life. Recognizing sleep apnea in your loved one means they can become aware of their condition and seek the medical help they need. Proper treatment, like CPAP therapy, means they can return to getting restful sleep and have more energetic, enjoyable days.

You can trust the CPAP Shop to help you find the best CPAP equipment and accessories for you. We make it easy to start and maintain successful sleep apnea treatment. Visit the CPAP Shop or call our team of experts at 866-414-9700 today and find the CPAP equipment to transform your loved one’s sleep. 

References

  1. Berg, S. M. (2022, April 1). What doctors wish patients knew about sleep apnea. American Medical Association. Retrieved from https://www.ama-assn.org/public-health/prevention-wellness/what-doctors-wish-patients-knew-about-sleep-apnea American Medical Association
  2.  Jun, J. (n.d.). The dangers of uncontrolled sleep apnea. Johns Hopkins Medicine. Retrieved from https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/the-dangers-of-uncontrolled-sleep-apnea Johns Hopkins Medicine
  3. Mayo Clinic. (n.d.). Obstructive sleep apnea – Symptoms and causes. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/obstructive-sleep-apnea/symptoms-causes/syc-20352090 Mayo Clinic
  4. Title of article from PMC. (Year). Journal Name, Volume(Issue), pages. Retrieved from https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8086534/

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Chris Vasta

Chris Vasta is the president of The CPAP Shop and an expert in sleep and respiratory therapy. He often provides insights on product design and functionality on various manufacturers’ prototypes and is frequently tapped to provide reviews on new releases.